MEMO

To: The City of Cincinnati
From: Amy Teitelman
Re: Oakley Streetscape Project


Dear City:

I forgive you for decorating my neighborhood with orange barrels and caution tape for a year and a half. I forgive you for parking a huge pile of asphalt and a backhoe behind my driveway for months. I forgive you for making it nearly impossible to walk to local businesses that are mere yards from my front door. I forgive you for the time you completely blocked part of our street, forcing my boyfriend to drive through our neighbor's yard to get to work.

Forgiveness for causing the laundromat fire? Pending, but probably will be granted. The conspiracy theorist in me is tempted to believe it was an inside job to keep the poor folks out of the neighborhood, or at least away from the main drag. But that's just so sinister. And kind of crazy. So I think I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one.

Here's what I can't forgive: you just cut down the beautiful old trees in the esplanade on Madison Road. Cut most of them down, and lopped the branches off the rest, leaving four or five amputee trees standing pathetically among their fallen neighbors. (Are you going to at least put them out of their misery?)

Last October, I looked out my dining room window at a just-married couple getting some pictures taken under those trees before heading into their reception at the 20th Century Theatre. Little kids were taking the fallen leaves and throwing them into the air around the couple for some of the shots. If I were the sort of person who used the word "heartwarming," that's how I would describe the moment. But now? Well, now I look out the window and see a scene from the fucking Lorax.

I understand that this is an ARRA project and I support reinvestment and recovery and good jobs. I understand that you are using "green" technology and there will be some sort of rain garden, which is dandy - but can it possibly make up for all the fossil fuels you are burning and materials you are using and TREES YOU ARE CUTTING DOWN? I understand it will look pretty, but didn't it look pretty before?

I love living in Oakley. It's a great neighborhood. And, I can think of a dozen other neighborhoods that need an ARRA project more than we do. Hint: they are neighborhoods that don't already have a fancy grocery store and a nice coffee shop and an antiques store and a restaurant with a $70 prix fixe menu and a store where you can buy high-end drawer pulls. They are neighborhoods that don't have a single bank or any kind of grocery store. They are neighborhoods that need community centers and new libraries and trash cans. Go spend some money there. Just be considerate when you are parking the backhoe.

Sincerely,

Amy